Dating and texting glossary

The conversation

Rizz. Charisma, specifically in a flirting context. Derived from "charisma," now used as both noun and verb. It describes an outcome, the conversation went well, more than a technique, which is worth knowing before buying anything sold as teaching it.

Opener. The first message you send. The most over-analysed message in the entire exchange, and rarely the one that decides anything: a good opener buys you a reply, and what you do with the reply is what matters.

Left on read. Your message was seen and not answered. Usually not a verdict. People get busy, lose the thread, or intend to reply later and forget. What to send.

Double text. Sending a second message before the first is answered. Widely treated as forbidden. It is not: a second message that adds something new is completely normal. A second message about the first not being answered is the thing that actually reads badly.

Dry texting. One-word replies, no questions back, no momentum. Sometimes disinterest, sometimes just how someone texts. The distinguishing test is whether they ever initiate.

Green flag / red flag. Signals of good or bad fit. Useful shorthand, over-applied. A single data point about a stranger is not a flag, it is a data point.

Momentum. Whether a conversation is speeding up or slowing down. The most useful thing to actually track, and the thing almost nobody notices in the moment.

Reciprocity. Whether effort is roughly matched: who opens, who asks questions, who suggests plans. The single most informative pattern in early texting, and it takes about three exchanges to read.

Escalation. Moving from texting toward meeting. The stage where most conversations quietly end, because both people wait for the other one.

Cold open. Messaging someone with no prior context. Also used for the in-person equivalent.

Patterns people name

Ghosting. Ending contact without explanation. Common, usually says more about avoidance than about you.

Breadcrumbing. Intermittent low-effort contact that keeps someone engaged without going anywhere. Sometimes deliberate, often just ambivalence that neither person has named.

Orbiting. Watching someone's stories and liking their posts while never replying to messages.

Benching. Keeping someone as a backup option while pursuing others.

Zombieing. Reappearing after ghosting, usually with a casual message that does not acknowledge the gap.

Situationship. A relationship with no agreed definition. Not inherently bad; the problem is when one person believes it has been defined and the other does not.

Slow fade. Gradually reducing contact instead of ending it. Ghosting with better manners and worse clarity.

Love bombing. Overwhelming early attention and intensity. A genuine warning sign when it is paired with pressure or with fast escalation of commitment.

Soft launch. Hinting at a new relationship on social media without identifying the person.

DTR. "Define the relationship": the conversation about what this is.

The apps

Reply generator. An app that takes a screenshot of a conversation and produces a message to send. Solves the immediate blank-screen problem; teaches nothing on its own.

Practice mode. Rehearsing a conversation that is not happening. The only mechanic in this category that changes what you can do without the app, and only if the practice partner can actually lose interest, because one that always responds warmly is reassurance rather than practice.

Profile review. Feedback on photos and bio. Often the higher-leverage fix: no reply strategy helps if the bottleneck is matches.

Openers library. A list of pre-written first messages. Works until the person you are talking to has seen the same one.

Interest meter. An indicator in a practice conversation showing whether the other side is still engaged. Its usefulness depends entirely on whether it can go down.

Terms worth being sceptical of

Looksmaxxing. Optimising appearance, usually framed around perceived attractiveness rankings. The vocabulary around it is frequently a vehicle for making people feel deficient, and it is not language used anywhere on this site or in FlirtGym.

Alpha / beta. Borrowed from a discredited reading of wolf behaviour that the original researcher himself later retracted. It describes nothing real about people.

Value. As in "high value" or "raising your value." Sold as strategy, functions as a way of ranking people. If a framework's core move is telling you that you rank low and it can raise you, the framework is selling the anxiety it created.

The chase. The idea that interest must be manufactured through withdrawal. Sometimes describes a real dynamic. Much more often it is used to justify not replying to someone who likes you.

Where FlirtGym sits in this vocabulary

FlirtGym is a practice app with explained replies. Three suggestions from a screenshot, each with the reason it works, plus a scenario mode where the conversation can actually be lost.

Terms it deliberately does not use, in the app or the marketing: looksmaxxing, value, alpha, or anything that names the reader as the problem. Naming the situation is fair. Diagnosing the person is not, and it is a worse way to teach anything. The full comparison against every app in the category.